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Ain't Love Grand?

EAWR JOHNNY

Eawr Johnny's started coartin'
E's asked ‘er reawnd for tea
Ah corn't help wonderin' what er's like
It's ‘is very fust girl, dost see.
Is Dad talked to ‘im, man to man,
Grandads bin givin' advice.
Ah just said, "Behave yersel'"
An' noticed ‘e looked nice,
E took care when ‘e dressed ‘iself,
E even washed ‘is neck
E's tidied up his bedroom,
It's usually a wreck.
E says ‘e'll marry Susan
Ah couldn't ‘elp but smile
In mi mind's eye, Ah saw ‘em both
Walkin' deawn t'church aisle.
So Grandad's put ‘is teeth in
An promised not to swear,
Is dad's got his best white shirt on
An Ah've specially set mi ‘air
Tea's aw ready waitin'
Everything looks fine,
There's jelly, cake and ice-cream,
Just right for the age o' nine.

Nellie Crutchlow


LOVE'S A FUNNY GAME

Aar Bill's started coo-erting
Young Nell from oe'er t'way
He rushes whoam from work each neet
And gollops deawn ‘is tay.

An' time he teks i' weashin'
It fairly meks mi sick
An' he will keep wearin' his best shirt
Aah've weashed it twice this wick

He's bowt some stuff cawed Brilliantine
He plasters on his yed
Tha coulda saved thi brass, Ah sed
Bi usin' lard instead

He's used up all mi blackin'
His boots they shine like glass
He even scrubs ‘is fingernails
To try and plaise yon lass.

Ah can't get near mi slopstone
To do mi weashin up
An' if Ah sey owt to ‘im
He seys, "Oh ma, shurrup."

He's awmost fawin' o'er ‘isel
Aah've towd ‘im as clocks fast
One mo'er glance i lookin' glass
By Heck, he's off at last.

Aah bet if Ah could see o'er way
Young Nellie's doing same
Dollin' up to plaise aar Bill
Eee, love's a funny game

Aah guess we mun a bin the same
Afore we getten wed,
But my owd mon needs no lard neaw
He's geet a reet bawd yed

An' me, Aah'm grey and stouter
But he seys he loves me same
Then he gets a kiss, reet on t'bawd spot
Eee, love's a funny game.

L.M.Bearman


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